This is a true story. The transcript of the beginnings of the Facebook Messenger conversation is below. Word for word. (The other person didn't say anything big or private so their side of the conversation is neutral and unidentifiable). It centres around me saying I was at home on New Years Eve doing exactly what Jada Pinkett Smith was doing, albeit in a much smaller house with no celebrity status or adoring fans for company.
As I answered the short but poignant 3 word question that came in response to my answer, my reply was swift and true and deep, and a lovely reminder that despite and inspite of the challenges, and there have been a few over the years, my happiness isn't totally dependent upon them.
Them: "Happy New Year. How did you spend your night?"
Me: "I was at home."
Them: "Are you happy?"
Me: "Oh my god yes. I LOVE my life."
Them: "What do you love?" (Fair question given that I refused to spend money on a swanky hotel for Christmas Eve just for the sake of it, preferring to travel home instead following the festivities).
Me: " If you've got some time watch the first 10 or so minutes of this. Jada explains her Christmas and New Year process vs. Will and that about sums it up for me." (I have posted a link to the video below. I had watched the video a few minutes before receiving this message and was like: "Yep! That's me!")
Me again because my brain is now on a roll: " I don't think I see the world the same way as many people. Every day this is pure magic, stuff that science and logic can't explain. I get to use my mind and brain in ways I didn't even believe to be possible in the days when I was diagnosed with what was thought to be early onset Alzheimer's. I have a body that has so far defied and confounded the medical profession which I have to smile about every single day. Every week if not every day I receive messages from people whose lives or the lives of their families are changed because of me. I have friends and clients who say they are alive because of me (I have done my fair share of work with suicidal people). Despite often doing a lot of stuff for low or no cost and it not being as regular as a high flying day job, I get do create and do things that I love every single day. I let that outweigh the downsides, pressures and challenges of going it alone.
And thank you for asking. Trust me when I tell you it can be the seemingly tiny ask that can make all the difference.
I'm most definitely not happy about having to find new clients all the time because I get results fast so always have to find the next one, and getting people on workshops is like herding cats and I kinda hate that. This year I need new strategies to figure that out or a chunk of corporate work where they do the organising and I just show up and do an incredible job."
It doesn't sound like much as I read it back, but basically observing and participating in the magic of the universe; check out today's exchange with Anne Jirsch regarding me thinking about writing a book and her impromptu Reading for me CLICK HERE, and helping other people and being of service in some way makes me happy. It is one of the reasons why I take the time to write stuff like this because I know there are times these things land at just the right time for someone.
"Very Rarely Am I Out for New Years" Jada Pinkett Smith
Jada: "As you both (Adrienne and Willow) know I stay home. Very rarely am I out and about for New Years. I like to snuggle up somewhere and just chill. I kind of go inside. I do a lot of work. A lot of spiritual work at this time. Always finding that place of peace, and strengthening that self love, and changing the narrative within my mind . . . . Usually Will (Smith) at New Years likes in an adventure in the world somewhere, there's no telling where he is, and I wanna be inside."
The 'Burning Ceremony' Jada talks about is EXACTLY the same type of ceremony I've been doing each New Years for the past 16 or so years if not longer. I did again just 3 days ago and I love it. We also do a big version of it for the Group every year as part of my Mind Body Spirit Energy Fest Workshop. I've got some film footage of my cauldron somewhere. Below is a similar ceremony I did for one of my Moon Meditations:
To watch the Jada Pinkett Smith Red Table Talk video on Facebook CLICK HERE They also focus on easy Workouts.
Are You Happy?
Regardless of whether you did a Jada and focused on introspection and the spiritual this New Years Eve, or whether you were out tripping the light fantastic at the stroke of midnight, are you happy?
Were You Single for the Holiday Season?
I wrote a Blog a few years ago about turning up for the Christmas family gathering single. You can read it here: http://marilyndevonish.com/single-for-the-holiday-season-apparently-one-of-the-big-fears-and-stigmas/
What Does Your Happiness Depend Upon?
I realised today as I pondered the short exchange they my happiness truly is an inside job because trust me when I tell you I have had many times during this lifetime which could have potentially tipped me over the edge, over and above the abusive childhood, an avoidable irreversible hospital induced illness, and considering suicide at age 32, there have also been things in recent years which in the past would have totally flawed me and finished me off.
Don't Stop Asking
Having sat on the suicidal fence it's not always one thing, and even the happiest of people can find a succession of events taking their toll. As I mentioned in my response, if you're not sure where someone is at, ask them.
I remember the poignant words of Kate Spade's father the day after she committed suicide:
It's Not About You
Let me also preface this by saying if someone has decided to end it all what you say and do may have little or no bearing on their decision and ultimate action. It will however give you the peace of mind that you acted on your instinct and had the conversation. It can be painful to listen to people who wish they had asked or made that final call and, we are all on our own path.
Eighteen Years Not Out
With the turn of the clock I am now into my 19th year as an entrepreneur. I never set out to be. I was planning to be a Chartered Accountant when Accountancy turned out to be one of my favourite subjects during my Business Degree. It was a toss up between that, Law, or Marketing.
It's not, at least for me, always an easy journey so feel free to keep asking if everything is OK and whether there is anything that I or your entrepreneur friends or fellow business owners need.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to share this Blog if someone you know would find this useful, and wishing you a truly Happy Year Ahead.
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