#Question Have you ever fallen into the trap of making something look so easy that people you work with no longer value it as a skill and you give the illusion everyone could do it?
I say women because this is where I see the phenomenon most often, that is however to say men aren’t affected.
It Can Affect Your Pay Packet and Bottom Line
When you don’t value what you have, what you do, or what you bring to the boardroom table it can both affect what you ask for, and what you allow or expect if you don’t get to the root of it.
I have come a long way, as you will see in the examples below, and the issue recently sprung up in a different form.
I Can’t Charge for That Because It’s Easy
I found myself sat here downgrading a request and what I should be charging "because I only have to . . . ." #MyOtherBrain had to come in and give me a slap and remind me "my only have to" is someone else's worst nightmare, and the only reason it's no longer terrifying to me is because I dropped a ton of cash and time and energy into sorting it out.
I Had the World’s Biggest Fears
You see stats repeatedly that fear of public speaking is right up there with fear of spiders and fear of death; I used to be run-out-the-house terrified of spiders too. Last night I encountered a whopper in the bathroom and just say "Hi."
The picture below is me with ‘Betsy’ the Tarantula, and I’m not tense, this was in the days where I was a gym bunny!
I also used to be TERRIFIED of public speaking right until age 32. The picture below is me on stage, speaking at one of the thousands of gigs I have done since then.
How Do You Overcome the Grip of Fear?
The fear can be debilitating and feel as though you are gripped by some unknown force which holds your mind, brain, or body hostage.
For me it started with what I call “unseen hypnotherapy”, unseen, because when I paid to overcome the spider phobia and massive fear of spiders, I had no idea being asked to sit in a darkened room with my eyes closed was hypnotherapy, with a dose of NLP. It is almost laughable that years later I would become a Master Practitioner and Certified Trainer of both NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), and Hypnotherapy, which was a very unlikely combination, because I was studying to become a Chartered Accountant.
I am now trained about about 20 different modalities, everything from Archetypal Profiling, Access Consciousness, DNA Theta Healing, EFT, and Future Life Progression, through to Huna, Tarot, Timeline Therapy, and Reiki.
- For my clients when working on clearing fear and anxiety I use a combination of NLP, Hypnosis, Timeline Therapy, and Huna.
- If it is something less ingrained, I tend to use a combination of Access Consciousness and Huna, which is my “Q&D” powerhouse combination for clearing things fast.
- With fears you’ve had “forever”, “longer than you can remember” or it seems as though they have “always” been there, I would recommend you get to the root cause rather than just doing a surface level “ra ra” motivation number on yourself because you want to ensure the same old problem doesn’t keep showing up and coming back.
There are of course a vast array of wonderful modalities available to you, so it isn’t a one size fits all. I for example might have a client who doesn’t resonate with EFT, so I would use EmoTrance instance.
How Long Does it Take to Clear?
It can take anything from a couple hours, to 1-day depending upon what you are working on.
Fear in Your Work and Career
Fear can also hold you back in your work, career, and business. I can’t imagine (well I can and it’s not pretty) what my life would be like now had I not gotten over my fear of public speaking.
Below are a few quotes from a couple of my fabulous female entrepreneur clients.
Stand up and Glow
Rachel C-k took my Fearless Public Speaking 1-Day Online Video Webinar Workshop. Here she is doing her first big stage talk a few weeks after taking herself through the online class.
“For those of you who were asking me about my big talk in January and shared my joy that I was so happy with how it had gone...
THIS is the awesome lady, Marilyn Devonish, that enabled me to breathe, think and talk all at the same time - and now - you can do it too!
Whether you get nervous in social settings, on social media, speaking in one to one settings, small groups or big stages ... these techniques work..I’m tapping into what I learned almost every day now ... what’s holding you back from sharing your passions or knowledge.. ?” Rachel C-k, Educator, Natural Life Coach, Awesome Mama, Oil Lover
If a fear of public speaking, be that presenting on stage, speaking on Zoom, or addressing your team or work colleagues is an issue, take the Online On-Demand Class today: https://tranceformationstm.newzenler.com/courses/fearless-public-speaking
The Relationship Trap
If you don’t value yourself or the skills and qualities you bring to the table, this horrible trait can spill over into your personal life. We usually recognise it “settling”, “making do”, and feeling “grateful” or “lucky” that “someone” likes you, even if that significant other treats you like crap.
You will have to be honest with yourself about the truth of this one. It is often more insidious and obvious than an outright fear of public speaker or spiders.
What Am I Doing to Deal with this New Layer?
This issue as it relates to me probably starts with re-valuing my skills and reminding myself of the work and time and money it took to get here.
Get Perspective. I just looked up the World’s Biggest Fears online. Fear of Spiders sits at number 4 on the first list I looked at. On the apparent “Top 10 Phobias of All Time”, and the “Ultimate List of All Phobias and Fears”, the fear of spiders sits at number 1 and fear of public speaking at number 13. You can read the full list here: https://www.fearof.net/
The fear of agoraphobia and claustrophobia features on several sites in the top 10, both of which potentially impact your ability to be out in the world speaking and sharing.
This hopefully serves as a reminder it is possible to overcome these things, even when they are right up there with the world’s worst.
Remind yourself what you have already overcome and take a moment to acknowledge that. Also identify what it took for you to get there.
It Wasn’t Always Easy
The #easy button is a staple of my #PhotoReading Workshops, to help delegates reinforce the ease at which they can now read at 25,000 words per minute and get through entire books in 5 minutes, so there is a place and space for ease.
When pressed, the Easy Button blurts out: “That was Easy!” The trick is remembering what you invested to achieve the newfound level of ease.
What is Your SuperPower or Skill?
This is one of the cards from both my Coaching Cards, and my Money Breakthrough Card Decks. I included it in both because it is such an important question to both contemplate and grasp.
What is your answer to the Super Power questions above? Go with your intuition and notice what comes to mind.
You can purchase Money Oracle Cards here - UK Shipping: https://marilyndevonish.thrivecart.com/money-oracle-cards-uk/
You can purchase Money Oracle Cards here - International Shipping: https://marilyndevonish.thrivecart.com/money-oracle-cards-int/
Over to You
What skill do you have which you or others have undervalued because you now make it seem so easy?
Flexible Working Implementation Consultant since 2003 & The NeuroSuccess Coach
Fearless Public Speaking Online Training
To attend the online 1-Day Fearless Public Speaking Video Webinar Workshop go to: https://tranceformationstm.newzenler.com/courses/fearless-public-speaking It is available on-demand, so you can get started as-soon-as today.
Transatlantic Online Breakthrough Coaching
To book a Breakthrough Session go to: https://bookme.name/marilyndevonish/breakthrough-session
Below is the feedback from one of my Breakthrough Session Coaching clients out in Australia. I am based in the UK, and have been delivering Coaching, Therapy, and Training Sessions online since 2005.
"Marilyn is truly spectacular. I was lucky enough to work with her remotely whilst I am based in Australia. I did the Breakthrough session and it was both challenging but so rewarding. Marilyn challenges you in such a positive way where you just can't hide from anything. She is also a wealth of knowledge & is able to tap into every aspect of life whether it be in business, gardening or family life. I really valued our sessions and I found life synchronised so much faster for me. I would highly recommend Marilyn to anyone looking to take life to the next level. Make the investment in your self growth & you won't regret it. Thanks again Marilyn, Lauren"
About Marilyn Devonish
Marilyn Devonish, The NeuroSuccess™ Coach, has been a Flexible Working Implementation Consultant since 2003, which means going into organisations to implement smart, remote, and flexible working policy and strategies, and manage the psychological implications of working from home and online.
She is also a Certified Life and Executive Coach, Certified PhotoReading™ Accelerated Leaning Instructor, Certified Trainer of NLP, Keynote Speaker, Off and Online Workshop Facilitator, Freelance Writer, and Certified Multi-Disciplinary Therapist including Soul Plan Reader, Future Life Progression Therapist, Certified Trainer of Timeline Therapy, and Practitioner of EFT, DNA Theta Healing, EmoTrance, Energetic NLP, Access Consciousness, Reiki, Archetypal Profiling, Soul Plan Core Issue Therapy, and Hawaiian Huna, having studied out in Hawaii with those from the original lineage. A Personal Trainer for Your Brain, Marilyn blends aspects of neuroscience with personal development to make accelerated performance and mindset changes more easily accessible to all.
She spent 9 years working as a Relationship Coach, had a Relationship Column with Here’s Health Magazine, and a monthly Agony Aunt column with Spirit & Destiny Magazine for 6 years.
Marilyn is also the Founder of TranceFormations™, a Coaching, Training and Consultancy organisation committed to creating impactful and lasting rapid transformation and change. Her journey into these disciplines started with being diagnosed with what they thought to be early onset Alzheimer’s in her 20s, and contemplating suicide in her 30s after a relationship breakup. Having found a quick, easy, and lasting way to turn that diagnosis and things around 19 years ago, she has been working with both individuals and organisations since then to help accelerate their potential and performance.
Main Website: https://www.tranceformationstm.com
Flexible Working: https://flexibleworking.brizy.site/
Bookings & Free Consultations: https://bookme.name/marilyndevonish
eLearning Centre: https://tranceformationstm.newzenler.com