Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever done this? Given someone and their sweet yet twisted words the benefit of the doubt because you wanted to see the good in them, or couldn’t believe they would do what your doubt was screaming out about?
Today we call them Red Flags. At a base level I call it intuition. That thing deep down in your soul which tells you not to waste your time or risk your heart.
Yet something logical pulls to “give them a chance” to prove themselves, or prove your doubts wrong. Sadly, when the doubt is that strong, they rarely do.
What it then leaves you with is the disappointment of not cutting them off at the pass. Not calling time when the fibres of your being bristled with doubt. Disappointed at allowing yourself to excuse, overlook, or write off unacceptable behaviour and disrespect because they infused it with a smidgen of goodness.
When is Enough Enough?
My friends often say I give people too many chances. Others joke that I like to experience being wrong every once in a while. I know I resist my old “one strike you’re out” tendencies from back in the day, where if you so much as looked at me the wrong way, I was done.
I think what potentially clouds the judgement is thoughts of those times where opposites did attract, or where something or someone got off to a poor start, yet produced or led to something wonderful.
Whilst pondering this dilemma and quirk of human nature, I came up with the thing which is the distinction for me. The thing that decides whether it’s a go or no go.
Two Decades of Insight
As I look back over the Relationship Coaching Sessions I’ve done over the past 20 years, and the 7 years writing a monthly Agony Aunt page for Spirit & Destiny magazine, it makes sense in that context as well.
One tip is to trust your intuition. The flip side of that is the bigger picture.
When I’m next at my desk, I’ll do a video to explain.
If this scenario resonates, tune in.
Flexible Working Implementation Consultant since 2003 & The NeuroSuccess Coach
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